Week of January 17, 2010
- Pastor David Hillis
- Jan 13, 2010
Are You Running on Empty?
“Take my life; I might as well be dead!” — Elijah (1 Kings 19:4)
“This job is too much for me. How can I take care of all these people by myself? If this is the way you're going to treat me, just kill me now and end my miserable life!” — Moses (Numbers 11:14-15)
These are the cries of two ordinary people who were serving God and just couldn’t take it anymore. They ran out of strength, ran out of gas…you might say they were “running on empty”.
What was it that you think these two men were missing, on the brink of moral failure perhaps? Were they not close to God? What would cause two men who were doing great things for God to both want God to end their lives?
Perhaps you have found yourself in their shoes at some time in your life — a time when life seemed overwhelming, hopeless — a time when there did not appear to be any good way out, depression set in, and the only option was to give up, run away, or something even more drastic.
Even in modern lifetimes, some of the greatest Christian leaders have struggled with depression. Great servants like Mother Teresa, preachers like Charles Haddon Spurgeon and Martin Luther King Jr., and authors like Henri Nouwen all wrestled with a tenacious, life-sapping prospect on life and depression at seasons in their lives.
Mother Teresa in her personal correspondence wrote, “I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. I feel just that terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me, of God not being God, of God not really existing.” Yet even though she struggled until the end of her life, she delivered hope to thousands of the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, India and beyond.
In his book Leading on Empty, Wayne Cordeiro talks about five areas in our lives that, if we are not careful, can lead us to a point of depression or burnout. They are long-term stress, great loss, unresolved problems, financial pressures, and the pressure to excel.
Oftentimes it is difficult to see that these life challenges are pushing us farther than they should be. However, typically there are warning signs that we can look for in our own lives, Cordeiro explains — signs like a sense of hopelessness, frequent tears, difficulty concentrating or making decisions, irritability, insomnia, lowered activity levels, feeling alone. Other signs that might not be expected at first include aches and pains that are stress-induced, eating disorders and even lack of marital attraction.
In late 2009 our pastoral staff all read this book together and did a group study on it. We were shocked to hear these statistics of ourselves:
- 80% believe that pastoral ministry affects their families negatively; 52% of pastors and their spouses say that it is an outright hazard to the family’s well-being and health.
- The clergy has the second highest divorce rate among all professions, and 46% of pastors say they’ve experienced depression or burnout to the extent that they needed to take a leave of absence from the ministry. Many of them never return.
Unfortunately, no one is immune from the physical and emotional toll that heavy pressures and stress can place on our lives. So how do we push back and prevent ourselves from getting to the point of running on empty? Here are just a few ideas…
- Have healthy margins in life. Remember that there is no real Superman, God didn’t make any exceptions. Set realistic expectations of what can be accomplished in a day or week, and be content with not pushing harder to try to squeeze more in.
- Don’t skimp on the rest, exercise and healthy meals needed…it does matter! That rest is not the number of hours needed at night but also taking a Sabbath every week…not just when it “works out”.
- Be intentional about priorities. Which are most important? Work, ministry, family, God? Does this order of priorities match up with what’s actually happening each week?
- Take personal retreat days throughout the year. These provide opportunities to get the scattered pieces of life back in order and bring clarity to the big picture of life. It also gives you a prolonged opportunity to talk with God uninterrupted and let Him talk to you. Schedule it in the calendar or it won’t happen! Don’t make excuses or cave into temptation to nix it last minute. It’s not a day to veg out and do nothing; neither is it a day to try to catch up on work (that means leave the daily to-dos and emails for when you return). Don’t try to do it at home; go somewhere different, detached from daily life and with few distractions.
Cordiero takes one of these days a month; my goal is seven days, or a week minimum, each year. Sometimes those are one day at a time, sometimes two. During those times I start off by relaxing and unwinding. Sometimes I have built an extra day into a business trip and stayed in the hotel room with the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door, and built in that time. At other times I have found somewhere to go out of town for an overnight stay.
A few months ago I just loaded up my car early in the morning with my Bible, some worship music and a couple of books I’ve been meaning to read. I loaded up a small portable cooler with a few drinks, a sandwich and some chips and then drove to a remote park and had my retreat day with God there.
After lots of trial and error (believe me!), I have figured out how to make those days each year be the most useful for me. Those times are so good for taking a personal inventory of your life, talking with God and thinking through what and how adjustments can be made in your life, and making plans for the future. If you are interested, I’ll be glad to share with you some of those ideas.
In closing, here are some final questions to ask yourself:
- Is it long-term stress, great loss, unresolved problems, financial pressures, or the pressure to excel that most easily can pull you in to the edge of depression or burnout? Which of these have been responsible for getting you to that point in years past?
- What kinds of margins or safeguards have you set for yourself to prevent depression or burnout in your life today? Are there any that you should set for yourself, starting today?
- Rest, exercise and healthy meals…which do you consistently skimp on? Knowing their importance for your long-term health, what can you do to stop that trend?
- How often do you take personal retreat days? When you have taken them, what have they looked like for you when they were the most helpful?
If you would like some resources on how to best take advantage of personal retreat days or anything else here, let me know and I will be glad to pass them on.
Stay “full” in 2010!
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